As I walked down the boardwalk, I found myself surrounded by tourists, yet at that moment I was feeling rather lonely and in a quiet contemplative mood.
Many people who have heard my story, have said you are a strong woman. Perhaps this is so, but, truly what strength I have is in the Lord, not in my own ability. Yes, I have done a lot in the last few years, seen many interesting places, and achieved a few things.
Yet, at times it has been a lonely journey. I did not "take on the world" by myself to prove a point, merely to survive. And yes, despite this, I have enjoyed the journey. Which often leads to the mistaken assumption that I prefer being single, prefer doing my own thing. The truth however is that sometimes I start feeling a little despondent about facing so many things by myself. Specially now when I am at such a great crossroads in my life.This morning I awoke with traces of that slightly gloomy feeling still with me. However, I had decided that part of my holiday plans included spending a little extra time with my devotions. I also brought a few Christian books along. I started reading "Wesley's Gold" by Ray Comfort. It is about John Wesley, one of the co founders of the Methodist church. Reading about this mans spiritual journey really stirred me. I could feel the fog lifting and my spirits rising again. While I do from time to time get a little down, God has been so gracious to me along this journey. The deep seated joy that is founded in Christ always comes trough and and lifts me up. It is at times like this that God reminds me I am never alone!
A few of the nuggets I have been reading :
"As long as you feel your own weakness and helplessness, you will always find help from above."
"On every occasion of uneasiness, we should retire to prayer, that we may give place to the grace and light of God; and then form our resolutions, without being in pain about what success they may have."
With my improved spirits, it has been a lovely time so far. I found a nice comfy restaurant with bean bag cushions and sat facing the beach reading and pottering on my writing project, my mind happily wondering between past, present and future.
The days pleasantly flowed into one another, and I truly enjoyed my time travels. I found a little cafe that made great cappuccino's, and become a regular for breakfast. The friendly waiter entertained me with his great wit. As he inquired about what I was so diligently writing, I explained that I was working on writing about past travels. My diaries and several letters from nearly twenty years ago where spread out on the table in front of me. He would take a moment to come and sit across me to find out where I was in my time travels. Right now, I would say, I am traveling through Greece and getting ready to board the ferry to Israel . . .
I thoroughly enjoyed sitting at the cafe under the umbrella with the bright natural light, the ocean breeze and the bright blue ocean before me. The present was certainly not to be smirked at. And, a chance meeting here may have a profound impact on my future. A couple I met here does stock photography for a living, a career that allows them a lot of freedom and the opportunity to travel. It seemed a divine appointment. Did I finally find that elusive transitional career for the next phase of my life?
The simple pleasure of being in my own hotel room after living on the boat with all my colleagues for so long reminded me how much I would enjoy having a bit more personal space. And of course, caused my mind to travel to my future plans . . .Instead of walking on a beach in Kusadasi Turkey I would be on a beach in Australia. Oh, how I look forward to digging these toes into the sand on Aussie soil!
A delightful few days. But alas, the present is calling me back. Time to go back to the boat, back to reality and the present. Next week we will have guests on the boat again and we will be working seven days a week and long hours again . . .
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