The last few years were emotionally abusive, and the day he threatened to physically harm me I walked out of the door with my important documents, one thousand dollars and the clothes I had on. In a rage Gypsy boy destroyed all my possessions by taking them to a dumpster that crushes everything. With that he crushed the last of what was left of our relationship.
That night my flip flops broke, so I started my new life without even a pair of shoes! What saddened me most that after 16 years of marriage and 18 years as a couple, he did not know that I have never been about material things. My greatest sadness was for what he did to himself. When the rage calmed down he would have to live with what he did, and he probably hurt himself more than me.
In the morning I went with a loaned pair of shoes (one size to small) to good old Walmart and bought myself clothes and shoes. In truth Gypsy boy took a great weight off my shoulders. I no longer felt wrapped up in guilt about being the one to leave, but looked ahead at a new beginning. I was surrounded by a wonderful support network, and spent the next few months on girlfriends couches wile saving a little money for my new start. Within a week so many girlfriends had given me clothes that I had nearly as much as before. Happiness and smiles became part of my life again.
After clothes my next purchase was paints. My original art was saved as I had left it at my job. I started painting again after having neglected that for so many years.
The season for boats heading south drew near. It was time for Gypsy girl to move on. Very poetically I found a boat called "Vamouse". I did not want to leave the town and people I had come to love with fan fare, so I just quietly disappeared. Everybody there will however remain close to my heart.
The passage south was tremendous fun. Captain David and I would sit in the cockpit on starry nights talking away - much to our other crew member's distress as we woke him up! David would share stories of his youth and his grandchildren, and I told my gypsy tales. Just before Antigua we decided to switch the engines off a while to check their oil levels. Like many other days on the passage it was a wind still day with glassy flat seas. Wile waiting for the engines to cool down we threw a line with boys over the stern at took turns taking a mid-atlantic swim. How liberating to swim in water so deep you cannot begin to imagine the depth.
My nights however will still filled with anguished dreams of the sad man I left behind. I still pray for him. Only God could heal his disturbed soul and his bitter unhappiness with himself and the world around him.
As a teenager I was on fire for the Lord. Only well into my marriage did I realize Gypsy boy was not a Christian, despite the occasional church attendance. Our gypsy lifestyle became an excuse for me not to attend church. Where ever we traveled my Bible always accompanied me, but sadly was mostly unread. I slowly slowly drifted away. I never stopped believing and over he years prayed for gypsy boy. But I was guilty of not placing God in the center of my life. Perhaps that is why my prayers where not answered.
But thankfully God is a God of grace and mercy. He does not leave unfinished business. Because I was saved as a teenager God came looking for His lost sheep. I left my sins and inequities at the foot of the cross. I did not make my new beginning alone. I have God within me to strengthen me, above me to shelter me, beneath me to support me, behind me to sustain me, and before me to shield me.
Read in the next blog about my further gypsy travels after the passage on "Vamouse"
