I'm dreaming of a white Christmas . . .

The year is coming to a close and here I am again in airport terminals. On the move again. Perpetual motion. Waiting for the pendulum to stop swinging. Waiting to live a quiet, predictable life. To do the things “normal” people take for granted. But, apparently, not quite yet for me . . .

It has been quite a year for me. It started with an international move and change in career, with a long wait in South Africa for it all to come together. I left my much loved little apartment in St Maarten, beach, sunshine and friends behind to go for the new opportunity that was offered. I had been given a full time position as a stewardess on a mega yacht that would now be based out of the Mediterranean.

Things where however taking their time to come together. I had to wait for the boat to complete a major refit that kept taking longer than expected. The upside was three wonderful months visiting my mom.

In May I finally boarded a plane and headed north to my new beginning. I joined the boat in Toulon, south of France. But on my very first day I received shocking news from home. Mom had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. My mom so full of youth and vitality? No, that just happens to other people . . .

But she’s a trooper, and a pillar of faith. She faced the unknown with great bravery. I could not compare my woes to hers, but I did have a difficult summer. Living on the job in close quarters with my fellow crew members was not always easy. One crew member in particular caused tremendous strife. The job was relentless. We worked long hours and seven days a week for months on end.

It was not all doom and gloom. We did see beautiful new places, even if often just through the porthole. And on the rare times we had off we often went out together and had memorable dinners and parties from Venice to Dubrovnik and Naples. My photo album records the laughs and fun moments . . .

We literally danced a jig when the guests left for the last time in the season. We where finally headed back to our home port, Palma Majorca. All the stress of summer fell away as a very quiet and peaceful winter season started. For us winter is our down time, just catching up with a little maintenance.

I was fortunate enough to go home for Christmas. When I just arrived in South Africa seeing mom was a shock. She had lost a tremendous amount of weight and was not feeling well. Her chemotherapy had recently ended. Walking hunched over she looked her age, and normally she looks ten years younger that she is! But, it was such a good feeling to see her reviving in the last month. To see the grace and miracle of God’s healing hands in her life. She regained her strength and by the time I left she was the busy little bee I have always known. I took her clothes shopping. Wearing clothes matching her much reduced size made her look good instead of like a drowning rat. And with her positive bearing and energy she regained her youthful appearance again. And just before I left, she had started growing a darker fuzz on her head - only a mm or so, but evidence of hair to come. Seeing her so much more her old self made the parting much easier.

Christmas day was spent quietly with cold meats and salads for lunch. Amazingly though, we ended up with a white Christmas! No, I am not going entirely batty. :-) The late afternoon thunderstorm became a hailstorm. I suddenly laughed when I saw the lawn covered in white, thinking they will never believe me when I get back to Spain, so I took pictures proving I really did have a white Christmas! This was the wettest December we could all remember. So coming back to winter here up North was not even a big shock. And the weather was kind to me. The week before was not only very cold in USA, also in Europe airports where closed all over the place. But this week, just in time for my travels, the weather eased up. Even my lay over in Zurich was mild and I walked in a T Shirt today here in Palma. Next week however, the cold should be back with a vengeance, but at least I'll have a little time to get used to it.

I was surprised to find myself looking forward to coming back to the boat and Spain. All December long my head has been spinning and I have been on a mental roller coaster ride as I tried to figure out my plans for the New Year. This is a pretty profound New Year for me. I have big decisions to make over the timing of my future plans. I am anxious to settle down, but for many reasons it may behoove me to commit to one more summer on the boat. This time I know exactly what I am in for. It seems a vast lonely stretch ahead. Naturally, I have been lifting this big issue up in prayer. God knows the desires of my heart, but He also knows the big picture that I cannot see.

A lot of people find being alone at Christmas depressing. Fortunately I was home for that. But to a degree I find New Years on my own far more daunting. It sort of really brings home that I am single and likely to remain so for a long time if I commit to summer. I am feeling a strange mix of dread, apprehension, and excitement at the prospect of taking the bull by the horns, whichever way it takes me . . .